Reading Up

O.K., I'm gonna stop with this 'up' business, I promise. But I just couldn't resist one more...and it fits! I've been reading up on attachment. So far: Building the Bonds of Attachment, Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children; Handbook of Attachment Interventions; and Attachment, Trauma, and Healing.
Do I think Marina is "deeply troubled?" No. Do I think she has some attachment issues? Yes. A current example:
This week we have major break through! Marina is coming to me in the morning for snuggle time. On her own...not being asked...just curling up beside me and letting me love on her first thing of the day. And it is not her manipulative type of affection either. The kind she does to get something (which she learned long ago does not work with us...but can be used on occasion with Nana, Papa, Grandma and Grandpa, or any other unsuspecting adult who is oh so easily taken in by her big blue eyes and button nose) or because she saw one of her siblings getting a hug, but honest "I love you and I'm glad that you love me" kind of affection. She is also asking me for help. With words. "Mommy, I need help with door." "Mommy please help...this." She isn't grunting. She isn't pointing. She isn't trying over and over until she reaches meltdown stage. She is admitting that she can't handle life on her own. (Do you have a lesson in there for me, Lord?) It may not sound like a big thing to you. After all, don't kid's ask help from their mom's and dad's? I've never had to teach my other kids to ask for my assistance. I've never had to wait for them to figure out that Mommy could be counted on to lend a hand. Usually, it's the opposite, "You can do it. You don't need me any more. Just try...there you go. You did it all by yourself!" But trust me when I say that Marina asking me for help, IS MONUMENTAL! In exchange for progress, there has been a marked increase in defiance. Taking and hiding. Repeating words (which she knows drives......me.........absolutely.......crazy). And there is that thing that she started of holding her hiney when she walks....????
As always, with Marina, it is two steps forward and one step back. And that old country song isn't true,

Two steps forward, one step back
Nobody gets too far like that...

The going may be slow, but we've come a long, long way baby girl.

**Amended-I just realized that I misquoted the lyrics. It is, "One step forward, two steps back." Makes for a more sensible song, but ruins my little pies de resistance, don't you think? Oh well, I don't feel like coming up with a different ending right now, so we'll all just pretend those are the right words...