It's Going To Be One of Those Days

When I pulled into the driveway this morning and began to unload the four small children, a man pulled up in his pickup and parked it in the road. I thought he was sorting through the neighbor's junk pile, but then he begins to urinate in the street. Right out in the open. Unnerved, I hit automatic lock on the car, scoop up the four children and hustle into the house, locking the door behind me. About an hour later, I get a call from the master. He has locked himself out of his car at the post office we deliver mail some 25 miles away. I am going to have to load up all these kids and take him the key. On go the shoes, hats, and binkies are found. Strap two babies in to infant seats and head out to the van--which is locked because of Mr. Creepy Indecent Exposure Man. And those would be my keys...IN THE IGNITION. Now what are the chances that we would both lock our keys in on the SAME DAY? I call Pop-a-Lock and they said they would have someone out in about 30 minutes. He shows up, but apparently a 2001 GMC Savanna is near about impossible to "pop." After 30 minutes of watching this man from the front porch, I ask him if he will just drive down to the master and see if he has better luck with his car. "No can do, ma'm, we don't drive that far." I find that to be the general consensus among our local locksmiths. Call the master again. He asks the folks in the little one room diner where he is camped out awaiting my rescue who they use when they need a locksmith. That would be Jesus Locksmith...and yes, that is a hard /J/ there, friends. Jesus will come to Sabine Pass. So I call Jesus.
"Yeah, this is Jesus Locksmith, go ahead."
"Yes, sir," for how could you not say 'sir' to a man named Jesus? "I understand that you go to Sabine Pass?"
"Sure do, sugar, but I can't now, I'm on a call up north of ya, and it'll be nuther hour till I can get down thar."
Call the master again. "Sorry, but Jesus is busy and can't come help you now..."

Oh, yeah, it's going to be one of THOSE days.